May 25, 2012

On a completely unrelated tangent..

Everyone hides behind a mask. What's underneath is generally never pretty
This post isn't really about makeup. But it is about disguises. Disguises that people around us hide behind every single day...

In the past few days, I have realized that everyone is hiding behind a disguise. Everyone is pretending to be someone they're not. To some level all of us are. A dear friend proves unworthiness, a colleague shows ruthless competitiveness, a loved one unleashes years of bitterness and trashes the jewel of forgiveness.

There is so much hurt and betrayal when these things happen. When you realize that the person you recognized and cherished never really existed. You feel like you'll never be able to trust your instincts and anyone else ever again, it's just... HORRIBLE.

Tears are shed, and sweet nothings are whispered to oneself in vain. Nothing works, but the soothing balm of time. But in less than 48 hours, even that balm is still stinging and relief is nowhere near. My hands are dyed red with henna, and so I avoid wiping my tears away lest I smudge it. My mother lends her kind advice after hearing my story "pade rehne do unko" (Just let them be). "Tum jo kar sakti thi, kiya. Nahi samajhte apni kami toh rehne do" (You did what you could, if they don't understand their shortcomings then leave them be). "They don't know what they're losing", she says. I, on the other hand, am scared that they don't think they're losing anything..

But that isn't something I can help anyways. So I'll just drink with my dad, play with my dogs and rest my head on my tear stained pillow once the day is over. Because it's over.

Tomorrow is a New Day, and "The sun must set to rise".

Emo makeup helps too- Kohl, black lids and clear gloss.

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